I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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