if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
