All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
