I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize