Moan for me like Helen Keller
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
