Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
