That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize