Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
