Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
why do cheetos always look like penises
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize