I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
