I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
