I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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