After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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