Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Drunk is not a location!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
