A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Can I color on your dick again?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We have started to decorate penises.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
