How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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