My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
