so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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