i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
