my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
