We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
