Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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