i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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