Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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