Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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