I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
