somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he shaved USA in his pubs
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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