I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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