Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize