Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
