haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
