Porn is love you can see.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
