i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
