the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
