id be glad to
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
