On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
