we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
