How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
