I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
