I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
