She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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