I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
