i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize