I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
