Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
