watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
