i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
