I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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