Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
