He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
