we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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