Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
