thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
