How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize