bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
