haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
