Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
