The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize