Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
