If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
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