Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
