the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
